What It Means to Go to God in Fear and Trembling | 12/10/23

What’s the point of life? Message of Jesus? Freedom. Assignment? Understanding. Drop the illusion for the light, the Devil in you trembling.

Church with Jesse Lee Peterson, Sunday, December 10, 2023 

||  See clips, links, and notes below. 


  • (0:00:00) Pre-service small talk
  • (0:01:45) Alex is back! Assaulted, injured, robbed by homeless
  • (0:11:56) Raymond 65, looking to retire
  • (0:13:22) Ladies on meaninglessness: What’s the point of life? 
  • (0:22:28) Jesse-isms. “You sound like Jesse.”
  • (0:24:43) Young lady dealing with weak guy(s) – Update
  • (0:26:51) Don’t identify with thoughts. (JLP and young woman)
  • (0:42:33) One purpose in life: Overcome the fallen state
  • (0:45:10) Message of Jesus: Hope?
  • (0:50:43) JLP: Jesus’s message of freedom
  • (0:51:47) Assignment? What can I understand, not get, in situation
  • (0:56:34) BQ: What does it mean to go to God in fear and trembling?
  • (1:02:23) Mae Mae: Contract with the Devil; crying
  • (1:19:25) Mae Mae / feedback: Forgiveness
  • (1:30:11) JLP on BQ: Living an illusion, walk to the light afraid 
  • (1:39:45) Feedback with JLP
  • (1:45:21) Hake caught lying again; Bill from Detroit, Fake house
  • (1:51:09) Closing: Stop identifying; Marriage, ownership
  • (2:00:47) New Biblical Q: Do you worship yourself? (Stop taking sides)


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Church Notes

Ladies: What’s the point of life? 

Biblical Question: What does it mean to go to God in fear and trembling? 

Assignment last week: See what you can understand from the situation, not what you can get from it. 

New Biblical Question: Do you worship yourself?

TIME STAMPS (Extensive)

  1. (0:00:00) Pre-service small talk
  2. (0:01:17) Welcome to Church
  3. (0:01:35) (1) Alex is back, was pushed 40-feet off a bridge and his bike stolen by a homeless. He broke bones in his back and feet. 
    • (0:05:58) Better now? Need surgery
    • (0:08:00) Alex, welcome back, you look well. You bring death upon yourself with words
    • (0:09:15) Alex, my son hates me. I borrowed money and didn’t pay him back! 2yrs gambling. Bro tried to bring them back together. Bus strike in Santa Clarita. 
  4. (0:11:46) Any Q’s, comments? Raymond 65 last month, plans to retire end of this year, built an LLC, but hopes he doesn’t make a mess of his retirement. 
  5. (0:13:12) (2?) Gal from last Sunday: What is the purpose of anything? No such thing as a career, just go to work. Perfect peace, don’t want to be in a relationship. Everything an illusion, success, money… If I’m invited to a party, why go? Fake conversations about bulls***. 
    • (0:14:43) Another young wife and mother feels the same. Her husband likes to dive for lobster, invite friends. I sit there, God he’s so fake. Empty conversations. 
    • (0:16:07) What is the reason to be alive, if nothing means anything, and everything is fake? Be an example of love. 
    • (0:16:48) Lijie watched The Chosen and read the Bible. Jesus went to a wedding, was always around people. Maybe it’s the Devil putting an idea in your head. “No.”
    • (0:17:36) The first gal, is like, nothingness, laughing with a friend, questioning everything. It’s lightness in it, but just wondering…
    • (0:19:17) Donyale, I don’t know myself. Just be present, do what’s in front of me, so much fun, spontaneity. I’m at times bored, confused, but then get centered and present. 
    • (0:20:43) What are you getting to know about yourself? … I feel like I have to keep the conversation going. So let go of that, be uncomfortable. 
  6. (0:22:18) (3) Donyale: Jesse-isms… I don’t mind sounding like you. It’s blind people. The person is blind, and make another hero. Overcome the world. So many things will get in the way. 
  7. (0:24:33) Back to first gal: How did you deal with the guy? 
  8. (0:26:41) (2? 4?-8) JLP and the young woman on meaninglessness: Don’t identify with it, the party, etc. … You can have practical plans for your job, but not for life. 
    • (0:30:30) If God created everything, even the Devil, why hasn’t He taken it away? He has. Satan has no power, just influences you to destroy yourself. … She says: (4a) My relationship to the situation is all from the imagination. JLP: It doesn’t exist except your idea about it. It’s happening inside your world. Nothing is really happening to the real you at all. 
    • (0:35:13) You’re going to see it’s all just a thought. … Judging the guys at the dance. No meaning. It’s just a thought. The pain feels like your pain, but it’s not your pain. Watch the thoughts. Have no relationship with the thoughts. It’s a lifetime job. 
    • (0:39:07) (4b) JLP story: A man waking up, seeing dating differently. Feels like too much work. He started lying to a girl, and couldn’t believe it. It’s all about seeing what’s going on inside of you, and seeing that it’s not you. … The young lady talks about having no expectations whatsoever. 
    • (0:41:17) JLP: Most won’t make it. People don’t really want to give up the world. Don’t wanna work on themselves, quick fix. If it doesn’t go the way their mind says it should go. Going back to hell… worse than not leaving Hell. Devastating
    • (0:42:09) Lijie — interrupted. (0:42:23) (4c) JLP: One purpose in life, overcome the fallen state. The Devil is the one who gives you purposes. … You walk around like a dumb person looking for a purpose… something about professionals hate the Jews. 
  9. (0:45:00) Lijie: Some people are trumpets, and some people are flutes. Can we have the spirit of Jesus, if others are possessed by other spirits? Can we ask the spirit of Jesus or God? 
    • (0:47:55) Joel responds… 
    • (0:50:33) (5a) JLP: Jesus’s message of freedom
  10. (0:51:37) Assignment? Rochelle, Donyale, Alexis, and others don’t remember. (0:53:25) … Joel realized with an agenda he lies. 
    • (0:55:30) (6a) The assignment last week: What can I understand from the situation, not what I can get from it. Understanding comes from God. 
  11. (0:56:24) Biblical Question: What does it mean to go to God in fear and trembling? … Donyale: We go to him as children, not “Jesus is my homeboy.” Reverence? Respect? 
  12. (1:02:13) (7) BQ: “Mae Mae” — Have you ever gone to God in fear and trembling? I don’t know. Have you ever thought you did? … I don’t know how… Desperation to it: You give me something, I’ll give you everything: My heart. … (7a?) JLP: You didn’t know it, but you were making a contract with the Devil. (1:05:34) This is hard for me. I feel the pain all the time. It’s not her. … She had an image of picking things up and throwing them on the ground and kicking things. (1:07:33) (7b) Who is the person crying now? Same one slamming things on the ground. … Can’t see you’re none of those things? How about be nothing? What’s wrong with being nothing? 
    • (1:11:14) JLP to Mae Mae: You’re none of those things, you’re an actress on a stage, playing these parts. … You love the pain. If you didn’t identify with it, the pain would end. Mae Mae: I don’t know how to let go of it. … Revenge is another thrill. Letting the person off the hook who did awful things to me. Keeping you in your own hell. Your body has healed, but spirit has not, because the Devil keeps bringing it up, giving you an illusion. The person has their own hell in them, suffering for it. 
    • (1:16:19) Don’t come here to be quiet, get it out. Fellowship. Don’t pretend to be holy walking on water like Joel (lol). Praying morning and night. Watching them, trying to not try to control them. Falling into the pain, know it’s not you. 
    • (1:18:00) (7c?) JLP: I know you like acting. She might get the academy award! She says you’re changed from… 
    • (1:19:15) Another gal stopped paying attention
    • (1:19:56) Lijie: Yellow is the absence of yellow (a man explains)… 
    • (1:21:15) Mae Mae: I was pissed… I was fine. I didn’t need any of this. … Stay with it, JLP says. You’re on your way. 
    • (1:22:20) Lijie: I hated my parents. In reality if you’re blaming them, you’re really not blaming them. You’re worshiping the Devil. (7d) Anytime you blame you’re worshiping the Devil …. Greatest country in the world…
    • (1:24:00) (7e) Crime, home robbery out of control, including when they’re home in San Fernando, Sylmar, etc. Lijie continues. 
    • (1:25:03) Guy lives in Sylmar, beautiful area, story of his bird going into neighbors yard, he jumped the fence … He’s soaking in everything. Trying to unsee will never work. Forgiveness message is the key and it’s not attached to you 
    • (1:27:51) Back to Mae Mae: Have you forgiven them? I started feeling sorry for them rather than mad… (7f)  If they could’ve done differently would they have done it to you? Something else was driving them. … You should be wishing him well, not revenge. 
  13. (1:30:01) JLP on BQ: Go to God in fear and trembling… You’ve built a false world separate from the real world. You’re living from this fake world you’ve built around the real you. … You run back into the false world to get a feeling … Living an illusion: You’re not black, white, male, female, what people say about you … you think getting married, having children gonna solve the problem. Satan pretend to be God, deceive all … wars … false illusion … Truth giving you a chance to destroy the false house you’re living in — stop reacting to it, it’s not you — when you come into the light of the truth, you tremble … a fear, you don’t know you’re coming into the light of the Father … so you turn around from the light, stay in your dark world …. 
    • (1:36:30) Take the pain and let the light destroy it. It’s the Devil in you going to God in fear and trembling — it’s not you, you’re already with God… If somebody’s going to try to destroy your reputation. Run to them, let them say whatever they want. 
    • (1:39:35) Feedback with Donyale, Mae Mae… 
    • (1:42:15) JLP makes a brief point. 
    • (1:43:01) The wife and mother who went to El Salvador: Spanish song on going through the fire like a broken vessel. 
    • (1:45:11) Hake on lying, caught lying
    • (1:47:40) Bill from Detroit … Going to God in fear and trembling, He will destroy it
    • (1:50:10) Sean looking crazy, likes the table analogy 
  14. (1:50:59) Closing: Stop identifying … let the world of thoughts and feelings crumble … stop picking up identities and staying in the fake house you built around the real house. You don’t have love. No one has it. 
    • (1:52:45) Hassan on fear and trembling — Don’t use anything to keep the fake you, the Devil, you think it’s you, going to God in fear and trembling … Be glad when the world attacks you. Watch what you’re thinking and feeling about it. Let them attack you so you can get over it. 
    • (1:54:41) Finding someone lying: “I” — use words consciously, not unconsciously. There’s no “I.” 
    • (1:55:49) Q: Does an angry person have logic? … Starting to love the empty space … When you take on identities, you have no life. An angry person is an insane person, will do anything to you, have no love … (10c) Stop claiming marriage, just man and woman together, you’ll destroy it with ownership … Say “my husband” consciously — not identifying with it. The married couple can think they’re better than the divorced couple. 
  15. (2:00:37) New Biblical Question: Do you worship yourself? Hold nothing against anyone… Stop taking sides… Amazing Men’s Forum… Work on you: Do the Silent Prayer

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