03 Jun Women’s Insecurity from Original Sin (Church, Jun 3)
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A woman who’d wanted counseling with Jesse this week thanked him. Her young granddaughter is in a bad situation with her parents, and she wanted to get involved, but she lacks authority to do so. She also had drama with a daughter who had not spoken to her for three years. She realized she needed to let go.
Why don’t men move out at 18?
Jesse told a story of seeing a young man he’d known a long time who’s now 32 years-old, still living with his mother. The man indicated he was afraid of his mother and couldn’t move out.
An Armenian man at Church lived with his father who had minor health issues and worked too much. His father wanted to remarry, but for a while refused to — because he wanted his son to stay with him. After finally moving out, he dealt with challenges, got work, and grew independent. His father refused to talk to him for some time after moving away.
Younger men today are afraid. Women seem to keep their adult children at home today, more than in the past. The Armenian man told his mother she’s evil for keeping his sister at home — she’s 19 and spoiled! He told about his grandmother whom his family suspects of putting a “curse” into their pillows in Armenia. Horrible things happened to them for the 7 years they had those pillows. A woman neighbor and church lady told them what they believed happened and prayed — that year their grandmother died.
Why don’t mothers let go?
Jesse asks why women don’t want to let adult children go. A woman at church noticed that people who want to help don’t really know how to help. Men today don’t fight to get away from mama! Church member Joel says that mothers are emotionally attached to their children. They think they love their children and don’t want to let go. Then they call all the time — one woman’s son turned gay after all of that type of “mothering.”
One young woman talked about a man who was proud of being a “mama’s boy,” and they don’t want to let each other go. In reality, he hates his mother, but feels guilty. The first lady talks about her adult grandsons who are spoiled by her daughter, who became like her. She says she was subtly controlling her children, and they hated her. Why are women so overprotective and controlling? There’s not a full understanding that human beings need to become free.
Compensating for parents’ mistakes
A man who found Jesse via YouTube resented his mother for divorcing his father, who he says was a beta male. He himself says he’s alpha, and stood up to his mother. He forgave his father in his heart but not his mother. Jesse urges him to go and forgive her, to apologize to her for holding it against her that she ran his father off. If you see that she cannot help herself as you can’t yourself, you can see, understand, and forgive her. She hated her mother, who was “good” to the grandkids but not her.
This man is 40, married, but went the opposite direction from marrying someone like his mother. He thinks he’s doing it the right way. He felt his grandparents’ generation had it more together than his parents, who rebelled. But his grandparents are the ones who created his parents! It’s not just society’s fault — if your parents raise you right, you cannot be influenced by the world.
One woman talked about her dad drank too much, and her mother couldn’t handle it. Her father passed away before her boyfriend met her. Her mother holds onto the past. Jesse urges her to tell her mother to go and forgive her mother. The past only exists in the mind to those who are angry.
Women are very insecure.
Jesse said the reason mothers try to hold onto everybody is because of the original sin of eve. Women are very insecure — they’re always validating themselves: “I’m a strong woman!” They don’t realize if they let go and go through the pain they would get better — it’s not a physical problem, but a spiritual problem. Some women will admit the truth, but most won’t admit they’re insecure — they’ll try to validate themselves in a way that men don’t do.
One woman admitted that they are insecure — they need security. They need a good father growing up, to get love from him, and then they won’t be insecure. She said that she sometimes feels lonely. It’s not good to be lonely — it can lead to depression. Christ came that we might have peace. When loneliness comes, just quietly go through it.
Another woman said that at times she does feel insecure. She asks herself why, if it’s reasonable. It takes a while to get past it. It’s a separation from your earthly father and God. Her boyfriend says that she complains that half the time he’s at home he’s working from his phone — taking calls late in the night and early in the morning. Jesse urges her to get over it. That’s part of the insecurity women feel due to the original sin. He says he feels powerless to help her get over it — which he should never say either!
Men should please God, not women
It’s not natural for a man to try to please a woman, but to please God and do what’s right.
A man listened to a podcast between successful business women — they admitted openly how insecure they are. It was shocking to him. But they concluded society pits women against each other, to be jealous, insecure. They blamed the “patriarchy.” But in reality, women are turned away from their fathers, and turned away from God.
Society is of the devil. Overcome the language of the children of the lie. The weakness starts in the home, and then you’re overcome by the pressures of society.
One man asked about going with the flow of society. Another asked if you can be disappointed in others, but not angry. Disappointment is anger. Rather, understand. A third person, a woman, said she is with a man who is an alcoholic, and stays with him because she feels bad for him. Jesse urged her, if she’s not married, she should get away. If not, then just don’t judge him, but let him be. And be an example.
Satan is involved in your thoughts in everything you do!
God wants us to live and recognize the simplicity of life. At all times, we have what we need right at hand all the time. (Read Matthew 4: 22.) Tomorrow (Monday), Joel is opening up his own business — a dance company. He told how it came about, including finding a space to rent before he can find a building. But he focused so much on the building that he didn’t appreciate that he had what he needed that fit him better anyway! He should feel excited and grateful, but instead focused on the future.
Satan gets involved in everything, to the point you can’t appreciate what you have. Jesse grew in his nonprofit BOND, moving from one meeting space to the next over the years, buying the BOND home, then finding our current building. Satan wants you to jump ahead and follow his orders. But go with the moment. You don’t know what you want — Satan has your mind in every aspect of life. Be happy and have a good attitude with what you have!
Talk show host and business owner Alex Jones offered a 30-year-old man a job — his parents famously evicted him from their house on judge’s orders. He wouldn’t take the job, because he had other unrealistic ideas!
Satan is involved in everything you do! Be the observer.
Biblical Question: Do you believe in interracial dating and marriage?
We had a discussion on the Biblical Question of the Week: Do you believe in interracial dating and marriage? (Watch 16-minute excerpt) Several people responded in-person and online. People had trouble answering the question directly. Some didn’t know. Most were for it, while others were not.
Announcements: We have a Men’s Forum this Thursday, June 7th, at 7pm at BOND. We can also take payments ($35) for the Men’s Conference.